• mom: you haven't moved since I left the house 6 hours ago wtf
  • me: excuse me where do you think these chips came from

91,363 notes

stay-golden-foreverr:

jaredsasquatch:

I’M LAUGHING SO INCREDIBLY HARD BECAUSE THIS IS EVERY ONE’S REACTION ON HERE WHEN GETTING COMPLIMENTED.

Y

21,299 notes

surejohn221b:

lumos5000:

incineraptor:

lexxerduglas:

clorinspats:

shade-rartblog:

thewingedshadow:

elliotexplicit:

cineraria:

How to Fold a Shirt in Under 2 Seconds - YouTube
伊東家の食卓

I just did this. Legit.

the fuck

Clearly this is black magic at work here

been folding my shirts like this for so long that it feels weird to do it any other way

WHAT THE SHIT

i did this just now completely skeptical and when it worked i just fell over onto my bed and sobbed into my blanket

trying this later when i have time…

you have time to be on tumblr but not enough time to fold a shirt in 2 seconds

139,911 notes

growlithed:

i love being naked but i hate how i look naked

6,712 notes

sleep:

i just remembered that in middle school there was a kid named “Ugonna” in my lunch and everytime he bought pizza i was like “ugonna eat that?????” and i guess i was kinda harassing him so he told the principal and the principal made me buy him a pizza for harassment and the next day i was like “ugonna pay me back?” and thats the story of how i almost got stabbed with a plastic fork 

(Source: sleep)

92,717 notes

itseasytoremember:

ironpatriotisstupid:

tickingtimelord:

squirtle-stahp:

ryanroasts:

HELLO BOYS I HAVE A QUESTION CAN YOU FEEL OUR BOOBS WHEN WE DO THE HUG

WE CAN FEEL YOUR BOOBS WHEN YOU WE DO THE HUG SORRY

WHEN I READ “HELLO BOYS” I READ IT IN CROWLEY’S VOICE AND GOT CONFUSED

ANOTHER QUESTION DOES IT FEEL WEIRD? YOU KNOW THE WHOLE BOOB THING

IT FEELS GOOD AGAIN SORRY

143,021 notes

drfrederickchilton:

If gay people don’t use the phrase “I cant think straight around you” as a pick up line. I feel like we have missed a genuinely great opportunity.

86,707 notes

snorlaxatives:

i can’t wait till i’m 30 so i’ll finally look like a high school student according to movies

22,830 notes